I've been absent from my dear blog now for just about 3 years, but what can I say? I was busy living life not worrying about what goes on here on the internet. I was also without a computer for a while...
My 23rd birthday has just come and gone and I was stuck in my head one day trying to get to sleep before my dreaded overnight shift at my local Walmart. I decided I needed to pick this back up. Not for anyone in particular, but for me. I've done a lot of growing in the last 3 years and while I still have a lot of similar qualities that I did back then, I am a much different person now. I am happier than I've ever been. Which is saying something. I've been pretty happy in the past. I decided I needed to have my sanctuary back. I needed to share my feelings in a place where I feel safe and secure, and I remembered what this blog did for me back when I first started it. The intentions I had back then are the same intentions I have now. All I want is a better life and this is my journey. So hold on for the ride.
A bit of catch up...
I'm engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful woman I have ever met. She really is my rock. She keeps me grounded. Lets me know when I am wrong because I have a hard time recognizing that occasionally. She backs me up when she knows I am right. She shows me unconditional love. She is my comfort on hard days. She warms up my freezing toes at night. She always makes sure I KNOW that she loves me, She never makes me feel like I am not enough for her. that wonderful woman is the incomparable Antoinette van Staden.
So the things that were floating around in my mind keeping me from sleep...
I've been doing a lot of thinking, about everything. That's probably the best thing about my job. Other than the work and my audio books the only thing I have to distract me is my thoughts. I know I am still young and still have a lot of growing up to do, but I feel like a much better person now that I was. I'm more open-minded, I'm more accepting. I claim to have no regrets, but I do. I think we all do. Even when we claim we don't. My regrets are that I've given up on things I could have done and done well. I gave up college. I got busy, I let other things and other people dictate how I would live my life. I'm going to go back, eventually. When I have a better understanding of where things are headed and I know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my forever. As a kid I wanted to be a writer. As a high school student I wanted to be a politician and that's what I decided to study in college. I left college because of personal issues that I have posted about before so look back on that. I spent a good 5 months looking for work. A close friend gave me the opportunity to fix up her house that she wanted to make home. That was an incredible experience and lucky enough for me, the week I finished her house, I found another job. It was in the food service industry at a place called Dickey's Barbecue Pit, that was another wonderful experience. I then thought I wanted to work in food, or even business management. That way when my Dad finally decided he wanted to open a restaurant, which is his dream, I could help him run it. That dream and idea still hasn't left me. I love to cook for miss Annie. My time working at Dickey's came to a close. It was just too far of a drive from my home in Hurricane to work in Bloomington (about 20 miles, or 30 minutes). That's when I got my job at Walmart. I started as Maintenance, cleaning and polishing the floors. It was honest hard work and I loved it. After about 2 years my store decided to phase out the overnight maintenance positions so I either had to find a new job or be pushed to another position, I chose to move to another position. I became an overnight cashier. I enjoyed that, but I was the youngest in the position by over 10 years. That made it tough. I wasn't on the same maturity level as those women and they made sure I knew it. I love them no matter what though they really are excellent people. After about a year of that, my store needed a new overnight electronics associate and they picked me. So finally! I got the chance to work with technology. I love it. I get the opportunity to teach people things about their devices that they didn't know. Its certainly not my calling in life. I don't plan on working at Walmart for the rest of my life, but for now, while I'm still getting my act together... Its perfect!
I'm not the best at what I do, and I know it. I am still learning new things everyday, which makes me so happy. I will forever be a student of life. I am here to learn all I can and make the most of life. I can't wait to see where this journey takes me.