History was made

June 26th happens to be one of my favorite days, so I purposely pushed this weeks blog back. Well, kind of anyways. Planned to write yesterday but more pressing matters came up and that took my attention. 

On this day in 2015 the Supreme Court struck down all remaining states bans on Same Sex Marriage, legalizing marriage equality across all 50 states. So Happy Anniversary to the many many people who got to FINALLY marry the love of their lives. 

On this day in 2013 the Supreme Court struck down section 3 of the Defense of Marriage act, which prevented the Federal Government from recognizing Same Sex Marriage. Also in 2013, the Supreme Court came to a decision in the Case of U.S. vs Windsor. Edie Windsor Was charged an inheritance tax on the estate of her late wife, which would not have been the case if her spouse had been a Man. The court ruled in her favor. Another instance of marriage equality on this day. In 2013 the High Court declined to review a lower courts ruling that invalidated California’s Proposition 8. 

So, Happy Pride month. These historic rulings are just one of the reasons why June 26th is one of my favorite days. 

Let me take you back to my experience 5 years ago... Annie was at work, I was watching the news in our little apartment. When the decisions came I celebrated by myself and texted Annie, and celebrated the news on twitter, while I was busy being distracted, I received a text message from my Mom.

Let me give you a little back story here. Prior to this day, my Mom and I never really talked about Marriage equality, she knew I was a lesbian, but we never really spoke about it. She knew that Annie lived with my brother and I but other than that we really didn’t discuss it. There is just a long long story that goes here, but its one I like to keep to myself and my loved ones. Maybe someday dear readers. So back to the story. 

I didn’t see my Mom’s text right away, so she called. She was in Philadelphia at the constitution center. She asked if I saw her message, she told me about her trip, and told me of all the rainbows and celebrations beginning to form. It was amazing, and arguably the best phone call I’ve ever taken. 

This day is historic for many, but for me it is one of the most important days in my life. It opened up the discussion of wedding planning. It was one of the first days I truly felt loved and accepted by my family. I always knew their love was there, but it never felt like it was an open and honest love. I felt shame leading up to this day. Shame that was absolutely debilitating. I hold no grudges and place no blame on others, because that shame belonged to me alone. I am so grateful for my own personal growth and the growth of my loved ones that have helped me overcome this shame. I’m grateful to the woman from my parents church, who recognized me in Walmart with Annie, and saw me drop her hand. I’m grateful that she made a point then to come talk to me and ask me to introduce her. I’m grateful for the love others have provided me that has made my personal growth much easier. One day I will get the opportunity to thank that woman in person, but for now, I’ll settle with this. I’m grateful for the youth leaders during my formative years that took the time to get to know me and love me. I’m grateful to still get to experience their love today and every day. 

While the day I married Annie reigns supreme as the best day of my life. June 26th 2015 runs a close second. Thank you all for being a part of my journey. Thank you for being the teachers, the listening ears, the readers I need. I am beyond grateful. 

Happy Pride

It’s June, my favorite month. My birthday, the start of Summer, and Pride month. As we all know by now, I live in Southern Utah. The pride community here is still growing. I am 100 percent willing to admit that I have never participated in any of the events that go on around town. It hasn’t felt like the community I needed. When events first started happening, I didn’t feel safe to attend. Now, I don’t attend because the time and place are rarely ever convenient for me. I don’t know a lot of other people in the LGBTQ+ community in my area, but that’s because I just don’t get out much. In my out life I have never purposely hidden who I am. I proudly wear a rainbow pin on my vest at work. I no longer change names and pronouns to make other people comfortable. Why should I have to? I am proud of who I am and I never want others around me to think that I’m ashamed. Unfortunately there are so many people that are ashamed. Why have we as a society belittled people to the point of living double lives? Why can’t we provide the resources of support for people who need it? I was lucky enough to meet Annie on a dating site, and I am so blessed. I feel so deeply for the people who are lost and have no idea where to turn to find someone to love, someone to just be friends with, someone with similar interests.  Where do you turn when your interests don’t fall in line with the interests of the majority of the community? I have no idea how people find other people to date in this community. I feel out of touch with my community, and that’s my fault. I’m going to work on being better. I want to be a supportive member, ally, and friend. When I was lost and looking for community I was forced online because there wasn’t an advertised local community. I am so grateful for the community I found there. I am grateful for the ever evolving communities of support I have been able to find online. Every coming out journey is unique, from the reactions of family and friends, to the resources available, to the spiritual or religious journey someone may be on. 

My journey is ever evolving and it is currently guiding me to the places I need to be to be a better member of my own local pride community.  I would greatly appreciate any resources you might have to help me in this journey so I can help those around me better. 

Happy Pride. I hope you all stay safe, and healthy. I also hope you’ll find ways you can help those around you. Pride is more than just a big party. It’s the coming together of communities to support those who need it. For me its always the reminder that I matter, that I am loved, and that I am needed. 

E Pluribus Unum

I’m torn. Last week, I had decided what I would write about this week. I thought about it all week. Yesterday I sat down to write and I just lost the drive behind what I had chosen to write about. I did spend a good amount of time researching, and learning about my history. It’s been fantastic. I learned that I had an ancestor that came to America in 1640, for what reason, I’m not sure. From there I was able to trace the lineage down to me, and see the places they had been before we ended up where we are now. It’s tough to choose which person on the tree to follow. With some people there is a lot of information available, and with others, not so much. For many of us we know that our lineage did not originate in the Americas. We know that we came from somewhere else at some point in history. On the great seal of the United States of America there is a phrase in Latin that has always stuck with me. That is E Pluribus Unum. Which translates to out of many, one. We created this nation with people from all different walks of life, and it is those differences that make us better. We could not be who we are today without them. 

So, in school I was taught that America is a melting pot. Where different nationalities, cultures and ethnicities are fused into one. I can see the reasoning behind that, when it originated, people from all over had to come together to make a successful nation. Now however America is more of a salad bowl, where different cultures mix but still remain distinct. We shouldn’t have to melt ourselves down to fit the mold of  the United States. The mold should change and adapt with our cultures. We should embrace and cherish our differences. We should know our history. We should learn from it, and be better because of it. I want to raise children in a diverse nation, where they can be taught about all of the people it took to make this country what it is. I want them to know all that they can about their lineage. I want them to know about the choices their ancestors made, good or bad and choose to be better because of it. I want to raise children that will fight the injustices they see and stand together as fight to make positive changes. We can be better, and make better for our future generations. Much like so many of our ancestors did for us. 

So again, I’m torn. I have wanted to write about this for months. I wasn’t able to articulate exactly what I wanted to say. I’ve started and stopped many times, and still I’m not 100 percent satisfied, but its all in the process. 

My challenge for you at this step in the journey is to know where you came from, and take the time to teach someone else about it. I personally would love to be apart of your continuing journey, and I would especially love to learn about your past. 

 Embrace the journey that came before, and make the continuing journey better for those that come after.

The journey is paused

No major post this week. I’m going to take the time to educate myself on the systemic oppression of Black people through out the world. I urge you to do the same. 

I do however want to take some time to say thank you to all of you who kept Annie and I in your prayers the last few weeks. We appreciate it.  I’ll be back next week with new thoughts.