Having a rough go at things...

My family doesn't seem to want to be on my side. I wish they could see things from my point of view. They don't think I believe in god, or religion. But I do, I believe in god, and I wish so much that I could be closer with him.  I don't believe so much in organized religion, but I do believe in similar things to most religions, I don't believe however that god is going to punish me for loving someone of the same gender. I  don't think that god even about that, as long as I am happy, I believe god love and accepts everyone for who they are.  So, I've recently been converted to loving Glee, and I was watching this weeks episode, and it helped me so much, I feel like I've connected the best to that episode. If you haven't seen it and plan on watching it, I won't ruin it for you, but it was amazing.  I'm learning how to deal with this on my own, I'm trying my hardest, but some times, it just isn't enough, I wish I could turn to my mom, or siblings, or someone, who was here with me, that could just understand, I do attend DiverCity (a type of GSA) but it isn't enough. I still hurt. I want to be taken care of , I need to find an outlet, even more, I need to be okay, even for just a day.

Only hours left of childhood.

and at this point I'm just wishing it will go on forever, no matter how hard its been, I'm afraid to move on. I'm afraid to be by myself. in a matter of two months I'll be living on my own, and unfortunately single. I've always wanted to be out in the world making a name for myself, but I didn't want to have to do it alone. I am so incredibly afraid of this next step in life. Graduation was scary, but this is scarier. I'll make it though... Adulthood, I'll see you soon.