Four short years

I’ll be the first to admit that the last two months have been especially tough. Things have happened that were completely unexpected. Those things forced me to reevaluate how and what is important to me. At the top of that list is of course the health, comfort and safety of my wife Annie. She’s the easily the most important person in my life, as well she should be. 

Four years ago today,  we took the plunge and vowed to share our lives together forever.  Every day has been an absolute blessing. Even the days we did nothing but argue. I have cherished every moment we’ve shared. I love staying up ridiculously late with her. Watching movies, having endless conversations about Harry Potter, talking conspiracy theories, experiencing things for the first time with her, watching our lives progress. Of course there have been setbacks and of course there will be more in the future, but I can’t imagine having anyone else by my side through the hardest moments. 

She hasn’t been driving for a while now, I picked her up yesterday and mentioned that I didn’t buy her an anniversary card this year. She seemed a little disappointed so I took her to the store with me. She shopped for a card while I picked up some other things, when she was done I went to pick up one up. 

 Cards are my thing. I enjoy picking one out that expresses everything perfectly, and writing something fantastic inside. I get her cards for everything. I’m a big supporter of hallmark.  There aren’t a lot of hallmark cards designed for LGBTQ+ people. It’s absolutely frustrating. When I pick out a card for my wife I shouldn’t have to scratch out a word. I shouldn’t have to put back the perfect card just because its gendered. It sounds silly, but I’m proud to be a woman that loves another woman, I want to buy her a card that reflects that. We place genders everywhere, colors, activities, greeting cards, clothing. I proudly shop the men’s clothing because it makes me more comfortable. I enjoy having pockets, and shirts that cover me. Rather than having plunging necklines and sleeves that are so short I’m not sure they can even be considered sleeves. I buy men’s shoes because they are easier to find in my size in a color that I don’t hate. I do that because it makes me comfortable. It’s not because I want to be a man. So why should people in the LGBTQ+ community be reduced to buying cards we have to scratch out words in? It can be as simple as changing the words man, wife, woman, and husband to spouse, person, and partner. So for instance in the card we both picked up yesterday that said “you make me a better man” that card could easily have said you make me a better person. Sure, if you go to the Hallmark website they do offer LGBT+ cards. A majority of those cards are not cards you would find in a store unless it is a LGBTQ+ store. I’m not trying to take another thing and make it political, I’m simply stating that I would like to go to the store and buy a card for my wife. We both eventually found cards that weren’t gendered. However it would have been much easier if we could have picked up any card and not had to worry about it saying the wrong words. 

A photo for every year we’ve been together

Annie, you are the love of my life. I am grateful for every moment we share. If given the opportunity to experience my life all over again, I’d make all the same decisions to ensure that I’d end up having you right by my side. I love every minute of our lives together. You have brought so much love and happiness into my life and I am forever grateful. I will spend every day of my life repaying the love you have shown me over these short years we have spent together.